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AN ATTEMPT TO FORGET ꘡ My journey to healing ma heart, ma soul. 

Did you agree with statement "writing is a therapy "  A lot of people suggests to me to write to express my feelings. yes I'm doing it now because writing help me with my thoughts and emotion. So this is a story about my healing journey.

He used to call me fatty..and i used to call him fatso..

He's a nice man..really nice man..supportive, hadworking and have a kind heart but seems fate have another plan for us. No matter what we try but if ALLAH said “KUN FAYAKUN” (كُنْ فَيَكُونُ) Be and it is.  The pain. The sorrow that you have to bear all the time makes you kinda lose hope in finding a love again. You will think like it is end of the your life. The more you fallen hard for someone, more hurt you will feels. How come world become so cruel?why it is such unfair?There is time you will think like that. I have been there..Big-time. My heart if not completely broken, woefully cracked. And it healed very slowly, very painfully.

So how do you get over a break-up? How long the mourning take? What I can say is it depends on that person itself and it will be different depends on the situation. Let's say you have been dumb because of your boyfriend is a liar, then recovery time might be shorter, because you know that he is not worth it. He is dumb ass. Why would you still begging for him, but if you're the one that cause of the problem you might need more time because the guilty inside you. But one thing that I sure is it takes longer than we want to it to take, and leaves it on its own time.

Deep in my heart.. I still want you, but i know this relationship not gonna work because of your words.

" Don't take things for granted"

and... that moment I realized that you already made up your mind, I know I have to let u go because the true love never hurting the other side. I can feel the pain from your voice. Hey beauty, letting go someone that you love would never be easy. But it is a symbolic that you're strong enough. If it meant to be it will be, but if not, you have to move on..it is sucks..but i will be here with you. Repairing our broken heart together. Looking for stuff to be feed to our empty soul. Ironic it is. 

I don't know...someone might describe broken heart like you being stabbed by thousand of knife, or perhaps falling from a high place, scattered across the ground but if you ask me, it's more like chocking to the death. You can't feel the oxygen. You're dying. Your chest like being presses by something heavy.  You feel the burden. You will start crying over and over until there is no more tears. You will lose your appetite. You don't want to be disturb by anyone, and all the time you just lay on the bed and cry. You cannot think straight. You avoiding to go out, because you don't want to remember those sweet memories when you pass your favorite shop or perhaps places that you always go when in the dating phase because it will hurt you more. The worst part is you lose a best friend, you lose a lover, you realized that no one ever gonna listen to the all crap that you will talk. YES! It's sucks.

will be continue...

PART 2 Here